Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends
Welcome to Rebuilding at Bethel a multi-level approach to rebuilding your life after the end of a significant committed relationship.
Rebuilding at Bethel offers a safe place to process and recover from the ending of a committed relationship whether it was your choice, one made by your partner or a mutual decision. We recognize that transitioning from being a couple to being single again can create many emotional, familial, social, financial and legal challenges. Our multi-level program provides the information, guidance and emotional support necessary to navigate those challenges as well as a confidential place to process the emotional pain that is a normal response to loss such as grief, anger, depression, fear, and hopelessness.
This non-denominational program is open to all persons regardless of race, heritage, religion, non-religious preference, age, or sexual orientation.
The program levels include:
- The Genesis Support Group
- The Rebuilding Seminar
- Movin’ On Social Networking Group
The following classes are also provided to help individuals continue to make the transition from being coupled to being single
- Quest: The Men’s Self-Esteem and Relationship
- Beyond the Looking Glass: The Women’s Self-Esteem and Relationship
- Dating Dementia: Keeping Your Brain in the Dating Game
Genesis Support Group
The first level of the Rebuilding at Bethel program is Genesis. This support group is free, conducted on a drop-in basis and open to participants 52 weeks a year. Genesis serves three purposes. The first purpose is to provide immediate emotional support to individuals who have recently experienced the ending of a committed relationship either by their choice or by their partner’s choice. We understand that experiencing a sudden life change can result in feelings of confusion, fear, anger, grief, and helplessness, therefore, the need for support is paramount. Considering that this group is on-going there is no need to wait more than a week to step into this support group. Individuals who are on the fence with their decision to leave or are hoping to reconcile may also find this group helpful.
Genesis is also open to individuals whose relationship may have ended months or years ago yet they recognize that they are still struggling and would like some help with moving on.
The third purpose of Genesis is to provide support and connection to individuals who are further along in the process but are waiting for the next Rebuilding class to begin. The Rebuilding class is closed to new members once each class begins. There are typically 13 weeks from the start of one class to the beginning of the next so Genesis gives those individuals a place to get started and to meet some other members who may also be planning on attending a future Rebuilding class.
Genesis meets from 6:30pm until 8-8:30pm every Tuesday evening with the exception of days when Madison Schools are closed due to weather-related issues in the winter.
The Rebuilding Seminar was developed by Dr. Bruce Fisher, author of the book Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends. Dr. Fisher’s research and years of working with individuals making the transition from being a couple to being single again resulted in the creation of the Rebuilding Seminar which is taught in hundreds of locations across the United States; including the one offered through the Rebuilding at Bethel program.
The Rebuilding philosophy: With information, emotional support, guidance, and community you can begin to rebuild your life after the ending of a significant love relationship.
The Rebuilding class process: The Rebuilding Seminar is a 10-week class designed to give participants an intellectual understanding of the process of ending a relationship by walking individuals through 19 rebuilding concepts such as denial, anger, grief, loneliness, guilt, rejection, self-worth, and on to letting go and moving on. This class helps participants answer two questions: Why did my relationship end? And, what can I do to make peace with this and move on as a single person? The class provides emotional support and guidance so individuals can begin to make important changes that can help them transition from feeling depressed, lonely, afraid, angry, or ashamed to feel connected, accepted, and understood. Participation in this program also decreases the chance that an individual will jump into a rebound relationship out of neediness.
What You Can Expect in the Seminar?
Our 10-Week Seminar meets weekly, on Tuesdays from 6:30-9:30pm. The seminar is offered four times a year; winter, spring, summer, and fall. Before the seminar begins each participant is asked to complete the Fisher Divorce Assessment Survey (FDAS). At the end of the 10 weeks, the same assessment is completed again. This measures the degree of adjustment each individual experienced during their time in the seminar.
Each session offers a presentation of the week’s key textbook chapter, confidential small group discussion, and experiential exercises that add depth to your learning. A short break midway in the evening is provided so individuals can stretch, connect a little and get a beverage.
The first six weeks emphasizes healing and recovery from relationship loss. The last four weeks focus on growth and moving forward helping members uncover the self-worth necessary for healthier future relationships.
A Safe Environment: Our ground rules
The Rebuilding Seminar is known for its safe, confidential, non-dating environment. Each person is asked to sign a formal seminar agreement to keep all names and communication private and confidential. The Rebuilding at Bethel program is committed to a policy of zero-tolerance to any level of personal abuse or harassment by members, volunteers, and leaders. Our non-dating tradition allows new support and friendships to expand without the distraction of pairing-off or cliques and it also preserves healthy boundaries that are needed for healing and growth. This environment also supports adults of any age, religious background, ethnic origin or gender orientation. Because of this policy participants often establish long-term friendships that allow for open communication and trust to build which is often difficult to find elsewhere during this transition period. Those in Genesis are also asked to not consider participation in the group if they are currently dating.
Movin’ On: The Rebuilding at Bethel Social Networking Group
Movin’ On is the third level of the Rebuilding at Bethel program. It is the social networking and activity portion of the program open exclusively to the participants and graduates of the Genesis Support Group and the Rebuilding Class. Although optional, our social activities can be nearly as powerful as the classes.
Movin’ On activities help individuals rebuild self-esteem and build confidence in a safe non-dating social setting – this is one of the secrets of the Rebuilding program – helping people reenter the single sub-culture. Monthly Birthday Bashes, yearly retreats at Bethel Horizons, hiking and other outdoor events, or a favorite activity you may suggest – we help set it up and make it fun. These gatherings are also a great place to talk to your classmates or graduates.
The Rebuilding at Bethel program is served by men and women graduates of the program who have stepped forward to offer their time and talents to make sure that your Rebuilding experience is the best possible. By coordinating a variety of outside activities the volunteers help energize and deepen the Rebuilding experience as well as help individuals to transition back to being a single person. Each of our volunteers has gone through the Rebuilding class and most have participated in the other classes as well so they are able to understand and relate to the process that new members are experiencing.
The Rebuilding class has delivered clinically-proven results to hundreds of graduates since this confidential and multi-level program called Rebuilding at Bethel began in 2010. Each participant has the opportunity to take the FDAS (Fisher Divorce Adjustment Survey) prior to the first night of class and again at the end of the class. From the scores of that survey, each participant receives a visual profile of the changes that have occurred as a result of participating in the Rebuilding Seminar. The expected average gain in a score from the pre-survey to the post-survey is 60 points. The average point gain for our program has been 90-98 points.